Truly Immortal

It is amazing isn’t it? How one piece of music, a few words and a few chords, and an idea can change a life? It just fits, doesn’t it? The song is actually singing your life.

One such song is ‘My Immortal’ by Evanascence.

                                            

Shakespeare once famously said, ‘’It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’’. Sometimes, I wonder if he had it right.

I’m so tired of being here | suppressed by all my childish fears | and if you have to leave | I wish that you would just leave | coz your presence still lingers here | and it won’t leave me alone.

You’re at the end of relationship and you don’t know where to go from here. Everything reminds you of them – that shirt, that empty glass. All the scenes from the movies come to your mind. Suddenly you find ‘’the closed lid cereal box reminding Jason Segal of Sarah Marshall’’ act utterly sensible, although his nudity in the movie had haunted you for days. You are just nowhere to go- although, so desperate to move on.

These wounds won't seem to heal | this pain is just too real | There's just too much that time cannot erase

Time is a healer, they say. Well, time is more of a band-aid, should I say. It will just hide the wound until something opens it up. Time might take you on a trip to Hawaii to get over things. Time might make you temporarily realise you now have nothing to lose, and are on your own completely. Time can do incredible things; Ineffable things. But one small prick and you start bleeding all over again. ‘Coz the wound doesn’t ever heal.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone | But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

There is always a bone of contention between the mind and the heart at these times. The mind will not accept what the heart knows. No matter how much you tell yourselves that it is over and that it was for the best, it doesn't really erase the pain.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears | When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears | And I held your hand through all of these years | But you still have all of me.

These lines are incredibly painful for the fact that they beat the time that brought you incredible things in the short term and takes you back into the past. Those moments when you held hands together, cried together, laughed together, come crashing right into your mind; the mind that is still in contention with your heart.  You try to jab those memories into pieces but they remain as an Eternal Sunshine of your Spotless Mind- the Sunshine that gives you pain and nothing else; a cloud of sorrowness in your life and nothing else; grief and nothing else. You beg for Time to let you move forward only to realise time can’t just heal certain things.

Now you know you are lost- In the dark.